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I've made it through 2 days, officially, 2 days, 2 hours and 19 minutes. I just can't believe how hard this has been. The whole household has changed. We're minus an important part of the family...Shelli This sucks really bad. Sorry I keep writing about it. I just need to get it out. If I try to bury the pain I will become sick and more depressed. I did some research about dealing with the loss of a pet. I am not the only nutcase who is devastated. It's normal. I don't feel normal. I am forcing myself to eat today. My body still feels like lead. How can I act happy at work tomorrow? Hopefully I can just do reshops or something. I don't think I can do the happy act. :(

I still cannot believe my dog is gone. I didn't know a human could cry so much. My face is all swollen. I feel like I weigh 1000 pounds. I don't want to do anything. Loss....

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tr1n1ty01
05:25 Apr 22 2012

I am here for you if you need to talk to cry to, whatever you want. Been thinking about you all week. *hugs*

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Ya, ok, so you probably think I'm a lame ass. Oh fucking well. I just went through one of the most traumatic experience as a good person can handle. I said good bye to my DOG. She was 19, not 17 like I thought. She was an awesome Pit Bull, one of the best. And Pit Bulls are really great dogs. Fuck what you have heard, its the stupid people who make them not good dogs. All dogs are good until asshole people fuck it up. My heart hurts so bad right now I wish I could die. but I can't do that because i have a little Mini Pin who is absolutely devasted, and Shelli's last remaining puppy that I know of who is still alive. her name is Tawny. She has really bad arthritis but she is still such a happy girl. I know she misses her Mommie. She was with her Mother her entire life. It is a horrible time at my house right now. I am not a tough woman. I am not cool. I am not a bad ass. I have a huge heart. I love animals more than most people. I am sharing this for my special VR friends, and they know who they are. If you have a heart, and understand my pain, then I welcome you as a friend. If you think you are a bad ass and this kind of thing doesn't hurt you, then fuck you. Seriously. I love all animals and will fight until my last dying breath to give all animals dignity that many people take away from them. Please read the poem The Bull Calf, which you will find in my journal. I am really so fucking sad, hurt, lost and so missing my happy girl. She was such a joy through out her life. This will take time to ever feel right again. I am so grateful to have had her as my own, as much as you can own anything. I was privileged to have her as my dog. Its been like a 100 years since I only had 2 dogs. :( I still have 2 and will love them as much as possible. If you want to know about my cats, it's all in my journal. I am an animal rights activist. I will be until my last breath is wrenched out of my body....

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Isis101
02:50 Apr 22 2012

I know exactly what you mean and how you feel. You have my condolences.

Pets are wonderful gifts to humans, and we should treat them with dignity and respect...and love, of course.

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Oceanne
03:51 Apr 22 2012

Loosing a beloved pet is very hard.Im really sorry for your loss.

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Today is worse. She doesn't want to eat. I have been giving her watter with a dropper. I know its time....To have her examed to determine that euthanasia is 54 dollars. The dog is 17 years old? WTF are they thinking other than dollar signs. Then the 2 injections are 147 dollars. Then a private creamation is 155 dollars=358 dollars. I don't want my poor dog to suffer. I don't know what I am going to do. I feel like I'm being selfish by not bringing her but they want the money.....I've called several vets and they are all assholes when it comes to costs. They would rather see an animal suffer, because they want the big bucks and some people don't have that. I am one of them. I've been calling some of my friends for a loan, but times are tough. All I can do right now is be right there for her. I wish there was a magic pill I could give her to send her to sleep. All I can do is cry........

Well, after 17 years my beloved dog is not going to live much longer. All I can hope for is that she passes away peacefully at home. I thought she was gone tonight, she wouldn't wake up and I went into full blown panic. But she did wake up this time. She wasn't breathing either. I was so scared. I know its comming but I just don't think it is fair that our pets have such short lives. Thats part of the reason that i do not believe in God. If there is a God, then he is not nice at all. Why have a pet have such a short life? It isn't fucking fair. Sorry I'm swearing, because I am angry. I know 17 years is really amazing for a dog. But I guess I'm just a greedy selfish bitch because I think a pet should live as long as we do. What a dirty rotton trick, taking away my pets. You might think I sound silly. Well, I don't care. I am really sad. And I will be sad if I want to. I am afraid to go to sleep. Man, this really sucks bad. My poor old girl. Pit Buls are really great dogs. If you don't think so then you haven't taken the time to get to know one. Sweet Shelli, please don't go yet. I want you to be able to sleep in the sunshine just one more time. This means tears... :*( And all I want to do is cry.

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tr1n1ty01
11:31 Apr 17 2012

I understand *hugs*

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